I came from a two parent home. My parents had a whirlwind love story. My young mother, a model and airline stewardess, saw my father in his Army uniform oneday in California and said, “He was so fine! He looked like a black Elvis Presley.” They were married and had 6 beautiful children, 1 son and 5 daughters. My parents took pride in their beautiful brood. Life was good in The Cole Family.
But in 1984, my father lost his job that supported us and allowed us to live as a middle-class black family. It allowed my Mother to stay at home and raise us, it allowed us to go on family vacations every summer. We were doing just fine. The adults called it “Reganomics”, said the President was sending middle-class black mens jobs oversees and flooding our streets with drugs. I remember looking out the window at the streets. I didn’t see any drugs, but I was only 9 and didn’t know what to look for anyway.
With money becoming an issue, things at home got different. My parents argued a lot, summer came and there was no vacation, school was starting and new clothes and shoes were low on the priority list. There was no fun trip into downtown Chicago to shop at Carson Pierre Scott or Marshall Fields then go out to dinner. All the things that we thought were normal, we thought that’s how everyone else lived too. We soon would find out that was not true.
Life got really crazy for us, my parents were together one minute and the next minute we were taking a long cab ride up North to stay with my Grandmother. But one night, September 20, 1984 to be exact, our lives came to a halt. Everything we were dealing with got pushed to the backburner, for 30 minutes. That night at 8:00pm on NBC, my father surrounded us all in front of the new 32inch color TV that he bought with his winnings at the races. We had fresh popped popcorn that my Mother so lovingly made for the occasion.
That night we watched Heathcliff and Claire Huxtable take care of their family that was very similar to mine. 1 son and 4 daughters. We all joked around that Terry was Theo, I was Denise, Bekah was Saundra, Sarah was Vanessa and Rachel was Rudy (Jenn was only a baby at the time). We laughed and laughed at these characters and that night we all became lifelong fans. Thursday night was family night, a night with the Huxtables.
Over the next year, we had great Thrusday night memories but the rest of the week…not so much. Eventually my father left the house, breaking up our Cosby Show like home. We had all the kids,even our Claire, but where was our Cliff? So, Cliff Huxtable became my Dad. Every week I listened to him and took his advice. Made decisions on my life based on what Cliff and Claire said. I wasn’t the only one now either. The Divorce rate had risen during this time leaving a lot of black families fatherless with only Cliff to bare the load of raising so many children.
From the time I was 10 til their farewell episode in April of 1992 when I was 16, Cliff was the male role model in my life. He taught me right along with his kids the value of Faith, Family and Education. If you did what you were supposed to do and worked hard you could have a good life. I learned so many life lessons from Cliff but the main one was how a man should treat a woman. Cliff looooved Claire! I would make sure my husband would treat me like that too.
The Cosby Show helped raise several generations of fatherless households. We were blessed to have them. Now here I am at 40, with a loving Cliff and 2 little Theo’s. My children love watching the Cosby show. The difference is that for them its just entertainment because they have a Father in their home. For me, I watched for entertainment and life lessons that only a Father can give you.
I’m not clueless to what is going on in the news with Bill Cosby. I don’t know what happened because I wasn’t there but I do know this, taking the Cosby Show re-runs off the air was the wrong decision to make. Heathcliff Huxtable is needed today more than ever. The number of black TV Dads that can stand next to Cliff are scarce.
I’m thankful for Cliff Huxtable. He gave me a look at everything I wanted to be and have oneday. I hope I made him proud!
Love,
Elisheva-aka “Denise”
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